Choices from the Heart

We are living in an era when choices are abundant. Whether it is calling plans for our cell phones or where to eat at the mall, the order of the day is choices. There are some choices are simply a matter of preference while other choices can determine the difference between life and death. I am specifically referencing the choice to become sexually involved outside of marriage or to abstain from sex until it can be enjoyed within the context of a marital relationship.

In this sex-saturated society, abstaining from sex is not a popular decision. There are many who would consider it unrealistic, narrow minded, and completely out of touch with what is going on today. But it’s because of what’s going on today that I decided to abstain prior to marriage and would encourage others to do the same.

Here are a few facts that you too should consider:
• Deciding to become sexually active in a relationship is a three-dimensional decision. While it is a physical act, your spirit and your soul (which represents your mind, will, and emotions) are certainly involved.
• There is very little discussion about the emotional residue of sexual activity, but it is a very real issue. If we were honest, it is almost impossible to disconnect your emotions when sharing your body with someone. You should ask yourself, “what will happen when the physical act is over? What will you do with the emotional baggage that is left behind?”
• Having multiple sex partners is the number one behavior that places you at risk of being exposed to HIV/AIDS. Even if you are in a committed monogamous (exclusively with one person) relationship for a season, you are exposing yourself to your partners’ sexual history. Former Surgeon General C. Everett Koop said, “when you have sex with one person you are actually exposed to everyone that they have ad sex with.”
• According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), almost 46,000 young people ages 13-24 were living with HIV in the U.S. in 2006.
• *African Americans are disproportionately impacted by the epidemic as they represent 13% of the U.S. population and over the 50% of the new HIV/AIDS cases. *African American women represent the majority of new AIDS cases among women (66%% in 2006).
• Condoms are designed to create a barrier during intercourse to limit the exposure to and the exchange of bodily fluids. While there is limited effectiveness in reducing the risk of pregnancy and exposure to sexually transmitted diseases (including HIV/AIDS), the fact remains that condom usage relies heavily on effectiveness of the user.

As you can see, choosing to have sex is a complicated and risky decision. Shortly after my decision to abstain, I met and fell in love with a dynamic young man who later tested positive for HIV. While we came to the relationship with a past filled with choices, it was our decision to abstain that literally saved my life. I married that young man and wrote about it in my book “Journey of an Overcomer.” After two years of marriage, I lost my best friend to complications from AIDS. Because of my choice then, I now have the blessing of being able to make choices today. Six years after his passing, God blessed me again with a very special man who has been my husband and coach for over 12 years. Together we share a beautiful daughter who represents God restoration power.

It’s time to really examine your life and your choices. Ask yourself if the choices you are making today will position you to enjoy your tomorrow. Ask yourself if your choices are influenced by your emotions, fear of rejection or an overriding desire to fit in. Consider your dreams and choose from your heart. Decide today to make choices as if your life depended upon it – because it does.